Motherhood in the crossfire: Women report unseemly feelings of regret!”

Motherhood in the crossfire: Women report unseemly feelings of regret!”

On July 23, 2025, Dr. Orna Donath, an Israeli sociologist and best-selling author, will give a provocative lecture entitled “Regretting Motherhood” at Villa Carlshagen in Potsdam. Her research focuses on the complex phenomenon of regret, which can affect both women who have chosen motherhood and those who choose not to. With increasing societal pressure on women to have children, Donath challenges the assumption that motherhood is a universal, “natural” role for women. In her lecture, which takes place as part of the DFG-funded research network “Personality and Perinatal Mental Health”, she calls for an open and non-judgmental look at the worries and fears of mothers.

Donath examines the reasons for this regret, which can lie in excessive demands, role conflicts and the loss of self-determination. In her study, she also addresses an often unspoken taboo: the discrepancy between expectations of mothers and actual experience. Women who choose not to become mothers often face warnings about future regrets. But what about the women who actually take on the role of mother and also regret it? Donath addresses this question in detail in her book Regretting Motherhood, which is seen as particularly relevant in the current political debate about women's reproductive rights. She views the topic of regret as a feminist question and questions whether and how alternative life paths are blocked for women and what cultural assumptions support this.

Social pressure and individual decisions

Falling birth rates worldwide contrast with the growing pressure on women to have families and children. This social pressure makes it difficult to pursue one's own desires and dreams, which can lead to a loss of self-determination. Donath emphasizes the importance of not shaming or silently ignoring women who are reconsidering their decision or feeling regret. Approaching the topic in this way can help to remove social pressure and enable an honest discourse about motherhood.

The lecture by Dr. Orna Donath is also public and free of charge; registration is not required. This makes it accessible to anyone interested. The event details are as follows:

How Medical School Berlin reports, this issue is one of the most pressing questions of our time, especially given the current challenges and discussions surrounding women's reproductive rights.

Orna Donath's book, which deepens the fundamental theses of her research, addresses this often taboo feeling and is essential reading for anyone grappling with the complexities of motherhood. It is an invitation to allow deeper reflection on societal expectations and to have an honest discussion about the experiences of mothers and women in general. You can find out more about their views on their website Penguin Random House or in your publication E-Bookshelf.