The invisible warning signals: This is how couples recognize the end of the relationship!

The invisible warning signals: This is how couples recognize the end of the relationship!

A new study by Prof. Dr. Janina Bühler from the Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz and Prof. Dr. Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern has published fundamental findings on the dynamics of couple relationships. According to the study, which appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it appears that dissatisfaction in a relationship reaches a certain point, which often leads to a breakup. Researchers found that the end of a relationship can be felt one to two years before the actual separation. A concept of “terminal decline” is identified, which is divided into two phases: a preterminal and a terminal phase.

In the preterminal phase, relationship dissatisfaction gradually increases, while the terminal phase, which typically lasts between seven and 28 months, is characterized by a dramatic decline in satisfaction. Only the couples who actually separate reach this final stage. The study, which included 11,295 participants from Germany, Australia, Great Britain and the Netherlands, also found that couples often ask for help late, namely when the critical transition point has already been reached. This can result in a breakup unless the relationship is recognized and addressed in a timely manner.

Phases of the end of a relationship

According to the study results, a relationship goes through specific stages that signal that something is wrong. The person who initiates the separation is usually dissatisfied earlier than the other person, who often only recognizes the serious transition point later. This shows the complexity of human relationships and the need for early interventions. Analysis of relationship quality could support couples in the pre-terminal phase and thus help prevent separations.

In addition to research on relationship endings, there is a great need for effective methods to support conflicted couples. An investigation of the Kh-Freiburg shows that couples therapy can reduce separation rates in many cases. Studies show that 70% of couples report significant improvement after therapy. In particular, emotion-focused couple therapy (EFT) shows high effectiveness, while systemic couple therapy performs weaker in terms of evidence, especially with regard to specific relationship issues.

Couples therapy: approaches and challenges

Systemic couples therapy, which is often practiced in Germany, aims to view couples in the context of their environment. While 70% of treated couples benefit from an improvement in their relationship, the question of effectiveness compared to other therapeutic approaches remains. Therapists and counselors use a variety of exercises to improve communication skills, identify problems, and increase trust between partners. These exercises are not only suitable for therapy sessions, but can also be done at home.

Effective exercises that are often recommended include communication-enhancing activities and trust-building activities. These include questions like “What do you know about me?” and trust exercises like “Let yourself go.” Such activities not only promote understanding of each other, but also the emotional connection between partners. From the CleverMemo These exercises are reported to help increase individual and collective problem-solving skills and ultimately strengthen relationships.

The demand for effective forms of therapy will continue to increase in the future, given the challenges that many couple relationships face. Hopefully, as research advances and viable approaches such as EFT and systemic therapy become available, more couples will receive timely support before they reach the critical point of terminal decline.